“Optimal sexual experience may involve those moments of deep connection in which both lovers are psychologically and sexually accessible, engaged and responsive to whatever lies deep within.”
Kleinplatz, Ménard, Paquet, Paradis, Campbell, et al (2009).The components of optimal sexuality: A portrait of “great sex”. Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 18(1-2), 1-13.
Research in the field of human sexuality has focused overwhelmingly on dysfunctional sexuality, what causes it and how to help individuals and couples attain normal sexual functioning. For years, our team has been focussing on the stuff that dreams are made of, or what we call optimal erotic intimacy. At first, we just wanted to know what “great sex” is exactly: Was it really the tips, tricks, techniques and toys we came across – and studied – in the media? Since 2005, we have conducted a series of phenomenologically oriented studies which examined the components of optimal sexual experiences, lessons to be learned from lovers who have deeply fulfilling, erotic intimacy, the commonalities among extraordinary lovers and factors which help to bring about optimal sexual experiences.
What we found was that many of the assumptions people acquire about sex while growing up are precisely what impedes optimal sexual intimacy. We felt there was a need for greater understanding in order to improve sexual relations for patients in sex therapy and perhaps for the general public.
Since 2013, we have applied our findings to develop a group therapy intervention for couples presenting with low/no sexual desire/frequency and sexual desire discrepancy. The goal was to improve the quality of erotic intimacy by focusing on such elements as being fully embodied during sex, increasing authenticity, playfulness, interpersonal risk-taking, trustworthiness and vulnerability. Please join us on this adventure in revisioning sexuality and erotic intimacy.
“In the erotic encounter control is released, discovery of the unknown is embraced. One’s secrets are not simply revealed but are divulged by choice. It is not that fear is absent but rather that one trusts that his/her lover will value whatever may be exposed in peak moments; therefore, at least there is no fear of rejection. Perhaps this is the ultimate human desire, that is, to be known and understood and fully accepted. This is the gift that is offered in the erotic encounter.”
Kleinplatz, P.J. (1996). The erotic encounter. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 36(3), 105-123.
Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers
Winner of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research Consumer Book Award!
What makes sex magnificent? What are the qualities of extraordinary erotic intimacy and what are the elements that help to bring it about? Is great sex the stuff that people remember nostalgically from the “honeymoon” phase of their relationships, or can sex improve over time?
New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives
3rd Edition
New Directions in Sex Therapy: Innovations and Alternatives, 3rd Edition focuses on new and cutting-edge therapy paradigms as alternatives to conventional clinical strategies, challenging practitioners to expand our thinking about how to deal with sexual concerns. In the 3rd edition of this award-winning book, Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D., brings together the best therapists and sexologists to advance beyond predominant approaches to sexual difficulties.
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